Let’s Talk...Lockdown

Let’s Talk...Lockdown

Sunday, March 21, 2021

All things working from home, TikTok, lots of walking & time to reflect.

The 1 Metre Commute….

My desk and I over the past year have got to know each other quite well and it is a love-hate relationship. Something I’ve actually tried to do is make my desk a more inviting space by having lots of things around it that make me happy- I have lots of photos of happy times with my favourite people as well as my record player, as I just think there’s something really nice about ploughing through some admin work with a record on in the background. Being the nosey bugger I am, my desk is by the window allowing me to people watch to my heart’s content + the lighting it pretty great. Call me extra, but I do also have a ring light by my desk for allll of those Teams meetings- it is criminal the lengths I’ll go to, but when I say that Facetime camera does not do me justice…

Something I’m quite conscious of whilst working from home is the amount of time I spend sat at my desk. And on that topic, good posture….who is she? Therefore, come rain or shine, I make sure I get out on a walk every single day- get those steps in luv. I normally walk on my lunch break as opposed to when I finish work, largely due to the fact that, as mentioned on my previous post, broad daylight is definitely when I feel safest as a girl going about her daily walk and it just means I can have my airpods in without having to worry about mysterious men running up behind me…winner. I also use it as a time to chat to my friend on the phone or listen to a podcast; my favourite is definitely ‘The Girls Bathroom’, if you don’t know, get to know. On the topic of all things exercise, I’ve managed to get myself into a bit of a workout routine now *pat on the back*. We’ll ignore the fact it did take me 3 lockdowns to do so, but in addition to my daily walks, I do also enjoy doing an ab workout or some yoga in the evening. Hot girl summer, I can coming for you in full force. Magaluf will not know what’s hit it, Boris permitting.

Over lockdown, I’ve really become a coffee drinker, as long as nobody mentions ‘caffeine’ and ‘addiction’ in the same sentence, we’re all good to go, full steam ahead. I do start my day with a coffee, so you could say I am dependent on caffeine, but I am going to turn a blind eye as quite frankly I’m not ready to hear it. My favourite coffee syrups are the Skinny Food Company ‘Zero Calorie’ syrups. Until recently, I was always a salted caramel kinda gal but trust me when I say this, I’m about to put you onto something….hazelnut syrup. It’s like Nutella but in a coffee without adding any calories, so definitely a win-win. I have almond milk in my coffee- 1. Because it tastes nicer and 2. Because it makes me feel like I’m doing something good for the planet through making better consumption choices. I’m in no way vegan or vegetarian but I do happen to think that even switching up the milk in my coffee is better than nothing. Plus going to Asda and buying almond milk to show that I’m different *insert sparkly emojis* does give me main character vibes and I will happily drown in those.

Trade Secrets to WFH…

I’m by no means an expert when it comes to WFH, but after doing it for coming up to a year, I have dabbled in learning the odd thing or two that makes your day run that little bit more smoothly.

1.     As much as I love mooching about in my joggers and hoodies, I’ve found that actually getting ready and putting on ‘proper’ clothes and putting good effort into my hair & makeup, as if I was actually going to work, really helps and puts me in a productive state of mind. I’m not going to pretend I do this everyday as I absolutely CBA sometimes, but I do notice a wee difference on the days I do make the effort.

2.     With the number of hours I spend staring at the screen, I am thoroughly shocked and surprised my eyes are not square. In all seriousness though, I’ve noticed a massive increase in my screen time- my eyes nearly fell out my head one evening when I did hit the 13-hour mark. No, I am not proud of myself, and I do not think I am big or clever. On my days off, I do try and avoid going on my phone to compensate a little bit- not sure how effective doing so is, but it’s definitely something to think about.

3.     Spicing up your routine definitely breaks up the monotony of every day being….well, boring AF and exactly the same as the day before. Building in things I enjoy into my routine has also been beneficial. For example, in the mornings, I love to be a lazy cow and sit in bed for around an hour with a coffee or three, just watching TV. Chilled vibes luv. 

4.     Fake tan makes EVERYTHING better. Whenever I’m feeling a bit shit, whacking on some St.Moriz always does the trick. I just don’t like being pale, I don’t see the appeal of it and looking in the mirror and seeing a pasty white reflection just doesn’t do it for me. I know I’m not going anywhere, I know nobody will see me but it just makes me feel a bit more human. Don’t knock it till you try it. 

Tiktok…Love It Or Hate It

I bloody love Tiktok as much as the next person but recently that ‘For You Page’ has really made me question what I want to see ‘for me’. I’ve been making a really conscious effort to tap the sh*t out of the ‘Not Interested’ button as I noticed that some of the videos that were coming through were actually promoting really toxic habits, and after speaking to some friends about it, I realised I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. Whilst I’m all for women supporting women, and women going about their day and absolutely smashing their goals, I can’t help but wonder if ‘What I Eat in a Day’ videos where someone is consuming only 1000 calories a day, is all that healthy. And after getting about 10 of those popping up a day, I found that I was constantly thinking about food and comparing my intake to that of other girls which I’ve now realised is really bad and I’m glad I noticed it when I did. General reminder for all the girlypops that you are entitled to eat whatever you like- if you want a cheeky takeaway, do it, and if you want to eat clean and get those 5 a day in, be my guest- whatever makes you feel good. On the flip side, alongside all of the Gemma Collins’ reactions and baked oats recipes, I have been LOVING the ‘What I Wore Today’ videos and all of the Fiat 500 slander. 

A New ‘Normal’

With the world opening back up again, it’s so nice to have things to look forward to as it definitely keeps the momentum going. The first lockdown was definitely the hardest with regards to this, as there was no clear end in sight and as a result, I really struggled, as I’m sure a lot of others did too. With the last two lockdowns, I’ve really been trying to….and hear me out, enjoy them. When I say ‘enjoy’, I do not by any stretch of the word mean that I am having a great time and that all is hunky dory…absolutely NOT. What I do mean is trying to enjoy the lockdowns for what they are and trying to relish on all of that extra time to do things that I may never get to do again. I’ve watched more Netflix than ever before, really delved into the world of podcasts, listened to soooooo many albums and I don’t think my room has ever been this tidy. Whilst none of that is a true 10/10 experience for a 19-year old, I’m never going to have time like this again so I’ve really been trying to make the most. Don’t get me wrong though, I cannot wait to get out and drink myself silly in martinis. 

With the hustle and bustle of life pre-pandemic, I never really set out proper time just for me, whether that be for self-care or just to sit and do things I enjoy. Long gone are those days... Something I will 100 percent be taking forward post-pandemic is just taking the time to ensure I am primped and preened- all I can say is that Boots better be stocked up on their fake tan. I should probably also get out of the habit of buying a new outfit for each occasion coming up, but quite frankly there are more pressing issues so let’s slide that one under the rug. The world is my fashion show and you’re all just in the front row watching…joking, of course. 

A Book That Changed My Life As A Woman

A Book That Changed My Life As A Woman

Sunday, March 14, 2021

 A discussion on learning to say NO, the male gaze, people-pleasing and what really matters.

In light of the tragic events surrounding the death of Sarah Everard, I, like many others, have found myself reflecting on my position in society as a woman, and the material that has shaped me in becoming the woman I am today. In doing so, I found all of my reflections largely stemmed from one thing…. 

I would not be the woman I am today without this book and I don’t say that with a light heart.

Written by the goddess herself, Florence Given’s ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’ is, as far as I’m concerned, easily placed on a pedestal with the Bible, no blasphemy intended. I purchased this in Urban Outfitters when I was 18 after years of following Florence’s Instagram page and being in absolute awe of the beauty, but also the significance, of the messages and quotes that make up her feed. I definitely couldn’t have discovered this at a better point in my life, after such a whirlwind year and a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences, I finally took the plunge in an attempt to re-evaluate who I really was and equally, what I wanted to get out of my life- it prompted the wake-up call I needed.

The first chapter is literally cited as ‘Feminism Is Going To Ruin Your Life’ and I’ll tell you for free, once you have read this book, you will not be able to take those goggles off. Don’t be fooled by the gorgeous aesthetic, this book is hard-hitting and if you don’t feel at all uncomfortable when reading it, you’re doing it WRONG. Go back and read it again and I mean really read it- take it all in. 

Three Lessons Florence Given Has Taught Me:

First and foremost- let’s talk about this elephant in the room…

Eventually, you will be miserable if you spend your whole entire life doing things that please other people. I can’t count the number of times I lost pieces of my personality in relationships and friendships and you know what, I’m not really about that. 

I am determined to make a very happy life for myself- I will dance around my room listening to my ABBA records (side-note: you’re bad vibes if you dislike ABBA), I will purchase bright orange silky trousers purely because I’ve not seen anyone else wear them and I WILL wear Doc Marten platform boots on a night out because fuck heels, honestly. 

There was a long period when I didn’t make time for the things that I loved and enjoyed, and guess what…the only person who ended up missing out was me. Like seriously, why did I do that. 

Life is far too short to not take every single chance you have, even if that means walking over a bridge just because it looks fun or sitting on a bench because as benches go, it looks pretty groovy. Make sure that every-day you do not go to bed with the slightest trace of an ‘I wish’ in your head.

 Stop replying to the people you don’t like. Stop making time for people who don’t add any value to your life. Wear whatever you want and bloody own it girlies (+ boys if you’re reading). Don’t compromise your standards with the people you allow into your life, just because your mates think they’re a decent person. I could go on and on but I don’t want to bombard you with a novel on a Sunday evening, so will try & keep it short and sweet.  

Numero 2- Relationships shouldn’t matter but let’s be honest, it’s something we all think about…

15 lines was all it took to completely transform my entire view of relationships and love.  

Being single is NOT a tragic state of existence; it is, in fact, a choice…your choice. It took me longer than it should have to embrace that, but I can confirm that once you vibe it and really, really dig on it *cheeky TikTok reference*, you set yourself up the thrive. I have never felt more myself than I have in the past few weeks. 6 months ago, writing this and actually putting it out there for people I know to see would have completely terrified me. I would’ve cared if people thought I was weird for doing so. Imagine that- I am embarrassed to say I cared that much what people thought to say the least… 

 As women, we’re compelled to dress for men, act in ways that please the male gaze and if we’re single, to constantly be on the lookout for our next relationship. I just want to take a moment to say FUCK THAT, loud and proud.  

Your value and worth as a woman has absolutely nothing to do with your love life. In fact, I have made a conscious effort when having conversations with friends to stop asking how their relationships are going or if they’re eyeing anyone up because actually what relevance does it have to anything meaningful or significant? Of course, if they mention that to me or need some advice, I’m not going to walk off in the opposite direction- I just don’t want those conversations to stem from anything I’ve said because quite frankly, there is so much more out there to talk about…

I have blitzed my TikTok FYP and completely rinsed the ‘not interested’ button so that I have completely obliterated it of any relationship, love and boy-related videos- it’s a big no thank you from me & would highly recommend doing so for others. I am however still here for all of the Gemma Collins reactions and Joe from the Test and Trace videos as in my opinion, that definitely adds a bit of spice and value to my life.

Last but not least- Nice Guys? Yeah right…

Too many things have been normalised and that doesn’t mean they’re normal. For instance:

1. I should not experience fear on a walk by myself in broad daylight, or when a man is walking behind me or driving past me.

2. Men in their work vans blasting Kisstory have no business slowing down to drive past me, honking their horns, waving or jeering at me.

3.     I should not have to phone my friend because there is a mysterious man following me on my walk.
4.     Unsolicited dick pics.
5.     The guys who stroke your legs and put their arm around you in a bar on a night out…did I ask?????

As a society, we have accepted these and many more as common instances. Everyone and their dog can name a girl who can relate to one, if not all of what I have listed above.

Why? Why are we normalising discomfort, anxiety, powerlessness and fear in the male presence? Nobody deserves to feel unsafe in their own body. And strangely enough, ‘the boys’ who are being very vocal about ‘not all men’ are the same ones we saw in bars last summer moving like predators.

 Every single boy I’ve met who’s called himself a ‘nice guy’, funnily enough, hasn’t actually been that nice. How bizarre. (On a real one girlies- if you’re talking to a boy who says he’s a ‘nice guy’, grab your things and run, leave the country, do what you have to do…) I am by no means saying that all men are awful and that their entire race must be eradicated. No sir. I am saying that there far too many men who are remaining silent regarding the abundance of women coming forward about their experiences of assault, harassment and times where a male has made them feel unsafe. Men, if you are tired of hearing ‘all men’, change it. 

 I think if there’s something we can collectively take from the events of the last week is that we must be vocal. Change isn’t comfortable, but neither is feeling unsafe on a walk by yourself and it’s clear to me which one is worthier of discomfort.